THE WAY FAMILIES WIN
Winston Churchill said, "We shall fight on the beaches, we shall
fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the
streets, we shall fight in the hills." And humorist Bob Orben added,
"That sounds a lot like our family vacations." And for some people it
sounds a lot like everyday life.
The problem is not whether we who live in families will have
squabbles, arguments and fights. My worry is more whether those
conflicts will end anytime soon. I don't want home life to become the
Hundred Years' War - going on and on with no end in sight while the
casualties mount. Conflicts need to have an ending so that the family
can get about its real business.
At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young
players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The
little boy nodded yes.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a
team?" The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you are out
at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you
understand all that?" Again, the boy nodded yes.
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your
mother."
I believe a family can be like that sports team. A successful family
wins as a team. But if its members are intent upon winning their own
individual battles with one another, the team loses.
A winning solution is to work out the differences and, when it's
over, let it be over. Then they can get back in the game as a team.
__________
Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.
____________________________________________________
BRINGING HARMONY TO DISCORD
I once talked with a couple about their marriage. They completed
personality "testing" and were discussing some differences that had
frustrated them both over the years. I summarized some of those
differences for them.
"You are sensitive," I said to the husband. He nodded affirmatively.
"You try to keep harmony in the relationship. It is important to you
that you don't have too much conflict, so you tend to give in often
in order to keep the peace." He agreed.
"You like affection and will often reach out and hold your wife's
hand for no reason at all." He smiled and nodded.
"And you remember birthdays and special days - these are important to
you." He continued to smile and nod.
"And you particularly appreciate it when she says, 'I love you.' In
fact, you need her to say that at least once a day."
"EXACTLY!" he exclaimed with a broad smile, looking at his wife.
Then I spoke to her. "And you appreciate his sensitivity, but you
tend to be more rational and logical." She smiled and nodded.
"You can be more objective than he can about personal criticism and
may sometimes be too blunt with him." They both agreed.
"You like affection, but you don't require it like he does. If you
hold hands or not, that is unimportant to you." She continued to nod.
"And you also appreciate the fact that he remembers those special
days, but if he were to forget one, that would not upset you. In
fact, you have to remember to say, 'I love you' to him, not because
you don't love him, but because saying it is just something you don't
think about often." She agreed, looking at her husband.
"Saying words like 'I love you' does not mean the same thing to you
as it does to him. You know you love him. In fact, you looked into
his eyes when you got married and said, 'I love you' and figured
that, if you ever change your mind, you'll let him know."
"EXACTLY!" she exclaimed, with a smile.
They told me that the discussion helped them to simply understand one
another and to accept themselves. Rather than trying to change the
other to get their own needs met, they could more easily appreciate
their differences and also appreciate themselves as they are.
They found harmony where there used to be discord.
We don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. Only notes
that are different can harmonize. The same is true with people.
__________
Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.
___________________________________________________
TIME TO BE QUIET
Popular author and speaker Ken Blanchard sometimes tells a powerful
story about Red, a corporate president who, as a young man, learned an
important and life-changing lesson. Red had just graduated from
college and was offered an opportunity to interview for a position
with a firm in New York City. As the job involved moving his wife and
small child from Texas to New York, he wanted to talk the decision
over with someone before accepting it, but his father had died and Red
did not feel he had anybody to turn to. On impulse, he telephoned an
old friend of the family; someone his father had suggested he turn to
if he ever needed good advice.
The friend said he would be happy to give Red advice about the job
offer under the condition that the young man takes whatever advice he
was given. "You might want to think about that for a couple of days
before hearing my suggestion," he was told.
Two days later Red called the man back and said he was ready to listen
to his counsel. "Go on to New York City and have the interview," the
older man said. "But I want you to go up there in a very special way.
I want you to go on a train and I want you to get a private
compartment. Don't take anything to write with, anything to listen to
or anything to read, and don't talk to anybody except to put in your
order for dinner with the porter. When you get to New York call me and
I will tell you what to do next."
Red followed the advice precisely. The trip took two days. As he had
brought along nothing to do and kept entirely to himself, he quickly
became bored. It soon dawned on him what was happening. He was being
forced into quiet time. He could do nothing but think and meditate.
About three hours outside New York City he broke the rules and asked
for a pencil and paper. Until the train stopped, he wrote -- the
culmination of all his meditation.
Red called the family friend from the train station. "I know what you
wanted," he said. "You wanted me to think. And now I know what to do.
I don't need anymore help."
"I didn't think you would, Red," came the reply. "Good luck."
Sorry, I don't know if he took the job or not. But Blanchard reports
that, years later, Red headed a corporation in California. And he
always made it a policy to take a couple of days to be alone. He went
where there was no phone, no television, no distractions and no
people. He went to be alone; to meditate and to listen.
The French writer and Nobel Prize winner André Gide reminds us to "be
faithful to that which exists within yourself." But how can we be
faithful when we don't really know what is inside?
The answer for me is to be quiet. To still my mind...and to listen.
I'll soon know what to do.
__________
Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.
____________________________________________________
GOOD FRIENDS ARE GOOD MEDICINE
Our news is constantly filled with the reality of death and dying.
And each of us, if we live long enough, experiences the loss of
persons we loved.
Children ages eight through ten were asked what they thought about
death, and these are some of their answers:
"When you die, God takes care of you like your mother did when you
were alive - only God doesn't yell at you all the time." (Beth, 9)
"When you die, they bury you in the ground and your soul goes to
heaven, but your body can't go to heaven because it's too crowded up
there already." (Jimmy, 8)
"Only the good people go to heaven. The other people go where it's
hot all the time like in Florida." (Judy, 9)
"Maybe I'll die someday, but I hope I don't die on my birthday
because it's no fun to celebrate your birthday if you're dead." (Jon,
9)
"I'm not afraid to die because I'm a Boy Scout." (Kevin, 10)
"Doctors help you so you won't die until you pay their bills."
(Stephanie, 9)
I've observed that the loss of a loved one can be one of the most
difficult things we humans can face. And one of our greatest needs as
we experience such a loss is for simple, human comfort. I've known
friends of sick and dying people to sit by a bedside or in a hospital
room for hours, even days, at a time. I've sometimes heard them offer
words of prayer. I've seen food in homes of people who are dying
overflow from kitchen to dining room - food brought by comforting
friends from church and concerned neighbors. And I've observed
friends to just listen for as long as it takes. Caring friends are
needed medicine in such times.
When U.S. Congressman Sam Rayburn (1882-1961) discovered that he was
ill, he announced to the House of Representatives he was going back
home to Bonham, Texas for medical tests. Some wondered why he did not
stay in Washington D. C. where there were excellent medical
facilities -- probably some of the best in the world. His answer was
a beautiful tribute to friendship: "Bonham is a place where people
know it when you're sick, and where they care when you die."
No one wants to go through difficult times alone. So Rayburn traded
the best of medical technology for the closeness of loving friends.
He knew that good friends are good medicine. Sometimes the best
medicine there is.
__________
Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.
___________________________________________________
HOOKED ON GIVING
Dr. Mar Aprem of the ancient Chaldean Orthodox Church of the East in
India tells a funny story about when a member of the church won a
lottery worth 100,000 rupees. His wife went to the bishop and told
him that she was afraid to tell this glad news to her husband because
he had a heart problem and any sudden excitement could cause a heart
attack.
The bishop offered to break the news gently to her husband. He
visited the house and asked the man, "Wouldn't it be a good thing if
you won 1,000 rupees in the lottery?" The man replied that he still
would have to work to support his family.
"What about 10,000 rupees?" the bishop asked. The man still showed no
excitement, so the bishop carefully raised the amount to 50,000 and
finally to 100,000 rupees.
"If I got 100,000 rupees, I would give half of it to you, your
Excellency," the man replied.
The bishop had a heart attack, and the man called an ambulance.
We can get excited about winning and getting. But have you learned
how fun it is to give -- and not only money? Engineering and
machinery genius R. G. LeTourneau (1888 - 1969) discovered the great
joy that can come of generosity. Besides establishing a private
school (today's LeTourneau University), that remarkable man
reportedly gave 90 percent of his income to worthwhile causes, while
living on the remaining 10 percent. He became hooked on giving!
And like I said, money is not the only commodity that is fun to give.
We can give time, we can give our expertise, we can give our love or
simply give a smile. What does that cost? The point is, none of us
can ever run out of something worthwhile to give.
Giving is fun. And addictive.
__________
Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.
___________________________________________________
BUILDING ON VALUES
"I don't subscribe to the thesis, 'Let the buyer beware,'" said the
late writer Isaac Asimov. "I prefer the disregarded one that goes,
'Let the seller be honest.'"
Look at the financial problems of today's world. How many of these
problems were the result of inferior products (dubious mortgages, in
this case) sold to unaware buyers?
I am convinced that long-range successful businesses, and truly
successful lives, are built on values. Two of those values are honesty
and integrity.
Over a century ago, clothier John Wanamaker, whose retail business
grew into one of the world's first department stores, would have
agreed. Wanamaker is sometimes called the father of modern
advertising. He instilled the attitude of utmost honesty in his
employees.
The story is told of one of his advertising people who was instructed
to make a sign promoting neckties that were reduced in price from one
dollar apiece to 25 cents. After personally examining the ties, the
marketer asked, "Are they any good?"
"No, they're not," he was told.
Wanamaker would have been completely honest, so the ad copy had to
reflect the attitude of the store. The necktie advertisement was
finally written this way: "They are not as good as they look, but they
are good enough at 25 cents." The department sold out of ties almost
immediately and was forced to purchase several more weeks' supply of
cheap ties to fill the persistent demand (Selling Solutions, Juanita
Ruiz, Ed., Oct. 1995).
Wanamaker believed that only a business based on values has real
value. And businesses of value are always successful.
Can't it also be said that a life built on values has real value? And
when you and I build our lives on honesty and integrity, we will
likewise know success.
__________
Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.
JOY ALONG THE WAY
A senator once took Will Rogers to the White House to meet President
Coolidge. He warned the humorist that Coolidge never smiled. Rogers
replied, "I'll make him smile." Inside the Oval Office, the senator
introduced the two men.
"Will Rogers," he said, "I'd like you to meet President Coolidge."
Deadpan, Rogers quipped, "I'm sorry, but I didn't catch the name."
Coolidge smiled.
A sense of humor is a marvelous gift to have. It is one of the most
important means we possess to face the difficulties of life. And
sometimes life can be difficult.
I deal professionally with issues which are critical: relationships
breaking apart, people losing jobs, people facing serious illness or
agonizing with someone close who is suffering, addictions, grief and
heartache. Without a sense of humor about my own life, I don't know if
I could survive! I take what I do seriously, but I try not to take
myself too seriously. Like the New York City cab driver who said,
"It's not the work that I enjoy so much, but the people I run into!"
Here is an experiment: look for and find as much joy as possible for
one full day. Try to enjoy the people you run into, the work you do,
your leisure time and your relationships. Don't forget to enjoy
yourself - and take enough time to enjoy God. I believe that if you
try this experiment for one full day, by evening you will bask in the
glow of a rekindled spirit.
It just takes a day to find joy along the way.
REAL BEAUTY
When a first-time father cuddled his newborn son, he immediately
noticed the baby's ears conspicuously standing out from his head. He
expressed his concern to the nurse that some children might taunt his
child, calling him names like "Dumbo." A doctor examined the baby and
reassured the new dad that his son was healthy - the ears presented
only a minor cosmetic problem.
But the nervous father persisted. He wondered if the child might
suffer psychological effects of ridicule, or if they should consider
plastic surgery.
The nurse assured him that it was really no problem, and he should
just wait to see if the boy grows into his ears.
The father finally felt more optimistic about his child, but now he
worried about his wife's reaction to those large, protruding ears. She
had delivered by cesarean section, and had not yet seen the child.
"She doesn't take things as easily as I do," he said to the nurse.
By this time, the new mother was settled in the recovery room and
ready to meet her new baby. The nurse went along with the dad to lend
some support in case this inexperienced mother became upset about her
baby's large ears.
The infant was swaddled in a receiving blanket with his head covered
for the short trip through the chilly air-conditioned corridor. The
baby was placed in his mother's arms, who eased the blanket back so
that she could gaze upon her child for the first time.
She took one look at her baby's face and looked to her husband and
gasped, "Oh, Honey! Look! He has your ears!"
No problem with Mom. She married those ears...and she loves the man to
whom they are attached.
The poet Khalil Gibran said, "Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a
light in the heart." It's hard to see the ears when you're looking
into the light.
A MORSEL OF HOPE
Jean Kerr said, "Hope is the feeling you have, that the feeling you
have, isn't permanent." It is what we have when we know that we WILL
eventually survive the night and bask in sunshine once again. It does
not deny the present darkness, but it reminds us that dawn is coming.
Brigadier General Robinson Risner ("Robbie") spent seven years as a
POW at the "Hanoi Hilton," as prisoners of war called their North Viet
Nam compound. There he discovered the power of hope. He spent four and
a half years of that time in isolation. He endured ten months of total
darkness. Those months were the longest of his life. When they boarded
up his little seven-by-seven foot cell, shutting out the light, he
wondered if he was going to make it. He had already been under intense
physical and mental duress after years of confinement. And now, not a
glimmer of light shone into his cell -- or into his soul.
Robbie spent hours a day exercising and praying. But at times he felt
he could nothing but scream. Not wanting to give his captors the
satisfaction of knowing they'd broken him, he stuffed clothing into
his mouth to muffle the noise as he screamed at the top of his lungs.
One day Robbie got down on the floor and crawled under his bunk. He
located a vent that let in outside air. As he pressed against the
vent, he saw a faint glimmer of light reflected on the inside wall of
the opening. Robbie put his eye next to the cement wall and discovered
a minute crack in the construction. It allowed him to glimpse outside,
but was so small that all he could see was one blade of grass. A
single blade of grass and a faint ray of light. But when he stared at
the sight, he felt a surge of joy, excitement and gratitude like he
hadn't known in years. "It represented life, growth, and freedom," he
later said, "and I knew God had not forgotten me." It was that tiny
glimmer of hope that sustained Robbie through an unbearable ordeal.
I am amazed at the strength of the human spirit. It seems to run
forever on nothing but a morsel of hope. But it still must be fed.
I find myself busy keeping my body going - but I know it is just as
important to feed my spirit. Even if all I have is a morsel of hope,
for today that just may be enough.
SIX TRAITS OF HEALTHY FAMILIES
It takes some adjusting to live in a family. Like changing your
attitudes about children and the kitchen. I used to by picky. But my
philosophy now is more like Erma Bombeck's: if it walks out of the
refrigerator, let it go!
Some people never make the adjustments. George Burns used to say,
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in
another city." But for most of us, happiness is making the most of our
family life, in whatever form and shape that family exists.
Family consultant Dolores Curran published what she considered "Traits
of a Healthy Family" (Mass Market Paperback, 1984), drawn from
responses of more than 500 professionals who work with families. Here
are a few of the top qualities shared by families considered
"healthy."
* Communication and listening. Are you working at this?
* Affirmation and support. A southern (USA) migrant worker told a
sociologist that "home is a place to go back to if things get
rough out there." If you cannot receive affirmation at home,
where else are you going to get it?
* A sense of play. Charlie Shedd says, "Whenever parents ask me,
'How can I keep my children off drugs?' I say, 'Have fun.'" The
family that plays together, stays together.
* Shared responsibility. Everyone helps out; everyone pitches in.
* Trust. The fastest way to drive a wedge between family members
is to violate it.
* Shared religious core. Does your family share similar spiritual
goals?
No family is perfect, but these six traits should help any of our
families to be happier and healthier!
THE POWER OF SOLITUDE
Herman Melville's classic, Moby Dick, portrays the whaling industry of
his time. In today's world, his book may likely upset readers who
share more enlightened attitudes about the use and abuse of animals.
But a scene in the story can teach us even today something about the
power of solitude and focus in daily life.
Melville gives us a turbulent scene in which a whaleboat scuds across
a frothing ocean in pursuit of the great white whale. The sailors are
laboring to keep the vessel on course in a raging sea, every muscle
taut. They labor furiously as they concentrate on the task at hand. In
Captain Ahab's boat, however, there is one man who does nothing. He
doesn't hold an oar; he doesn't perspire; he doesn't shout. He is
languid - utterly relaxed, quiet and poised. This man is the
harpooner, and his job is to patiently wait for the moment. Then
Melville gives us this sentence: "To insure the greatest efficiency in
the dart, the harpooners of this world must start to their feet out of
idleness, and not out of toil."
What a marvelous picture for effective living! Those who would live
each day to the fullest must prepare for them from a state of idleness
rather than toil. For many people this means a daily period of quiet
and meditation to focus, plan or pray.
Self help expert Brian Tracy calls it an indispensible daily time of
planning and preparation. He suggests that we devote a full hour to
alone time every morning. That is when we set our daily priorities so
that we, and not events, are in charge of our lives.
"I don't have time for that!" some people complain. "My life is simply
too busy to add one more thing to it."
But most people find that a regular period of solitude to chart the
day's course, still the mind, listen and prepare actually creates more
time than it takes. For we are most effective when we start to our
feet out of idleness and not out of toil.
WHO'S YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Former prisoner James Knapp confessed to police that he'd robbed
two stores in Oklahoma (USA), because he missed his old cell mates.
Police said they'd see if James could be reunited with his buddies.
But I think Mr. Knapp might have said something worth listening to. We
need friends, no matter where we find them.
And do you know who your best friend is? Automaker Henry Ford was
having lunch with a man, when he suddenly asked the man that very
question. "Who is your best friend?" Ford asked.
The man hesitated and Ford went on. "I'll tell you who your best
friend is," he said. Then he wrote this sentence for the man to
read: "Your best friend is he who brings out the best that is
within you." Our best friends are those who do more than simply
like us. They also believe in us. They support us but, occasionally,
they nudge us as well.
Someone put it well: "A friend is someone who knows you as you
are, understands where you've been, accepts who you've become,
and still, gently invites you to grow."
Now...who is your best friend?
KEEPING THE MOTOR IDLING
I relate well to the comment made by Barbara Johnson: "Patience
is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping
your gears." I know that if I can keep the motor idling, it will
be ready to go when I need it.
A kindergarten teacher practiced keeping her motor idling. A
story has it that she was helping one of her students put his
snow boots on. He asked for help and she could see why. With her
pulling and him pushing, they finally succeeded and she had by
now worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy
said, "They're on the wrong feet."
She looked and, sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier
pulling the boots off, and then she had to wrestle the stubborn
boots on again.
Just as she finished lacing them he announced, "These aren't my
boots." She bit her tongue to keep from screaming, "Why didn't
you say so?"
Once again she struggled to pull off the ill-fitting boots. He
then calmly added, "They're my brother's boots. My mom made me
wear them." She began to realize how close she was to stripping
her gears as she struggled with the boots yet again.
When they were finally laced, she said, "Now, where are your
mittens?"
"I stuffed them in the toes of my boots," he said.
She may have been the same teacher who once commented about a
particularly difficult child in her class, "Not only is he my
worst behaved child this year, but he also has a perfect
attendance record.
A Dutch proverb observes, "A handful of patience is worth more
than a bushel of brains." I may never have to worry about having
a bushel of brains, but I can sometimes muster a handful of
patience. And that should be enough.
__________
Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.
____________________________________________________
MAKING CHOICES
Joseph Henry was an American scientist who served as the first
Secretary of the Smithsonian Institution. He used to tell a rather
strange story about his childhood. His grandmother, who raised him,
once paid a cobbler to make him a pair of shoes.
The man measured his feet and told Joseph that he could choose between
two styles: a rounded toe or a square toe. Little Joseph couldn't
decide. It seemed to be such a huge decision; after all, they would
become his only pair of shoes for a long time.
The cobbler allowed him to take a couple of days to make up his mind.
Day after day, Joseph went into the shop, sometimes three or four
times a day! Each time he looked over the cobbler's shoes and tried to
decide. The round-toed shoes were more practical, but the square toes
looked more fashionable. He continued to procrastinate. He wanted to
make up his mind, but he just couldn't decide!
Finally, one day he went into the shop and the cobbler handed him a
parcel wrapped in brown paper. His new shoes! He raced home. He tore
off the wrapping and found a beautiful pair of leather shoes - one
with a rounded toe and the other with a square toe.
I can learn a lesson here...a lesson about decisions: if I don't make
decisions myself, others will probably make them for me. Better that
I make them myself.
And if I choose poorly from time to time, that's okay, too. At least
I won't have to wear shoes that don't match. Besides, I'll probably
do better the next time.
__________
Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.
___________________________________________________
COLORED LIGHTS AND CLEAR LIGHTS
My college roommate and I decided to decorate our dormitory bedroom.
We thought that colored lights would be perfect. But having none, we
painted all of our light bulbs red. When we switched the lights back
on, the room shone with a dark and eerie blood-red glow.
I learned a couple of things about painted light bulbs that semester.
I learned, first, that one can't study by eerie, red lighting. Not
that studying was the highest priority for college freshmen, but the
dark red bulbs were more of a distraction than an aid.
And very quickly I learned something else. Paint burns. Smoke from our
lamps and lighting fixtures sent us outside gasping for breath.
Tinted bulbs may be nice to look at, but they don't cast much light.
We string colored lights as decoration. They are designed to call
attention to themselves, but never to light a room. We might say,
"Aren't they pretty?" Or we may say, "I see flashing colored lights
behind my car!" But we do not use them to illumine an area.
Clear lights, on the other hand, show off all that is nearby. We may
aim a directional light at a wall and exclaim, "What a lovely
painting!" Or we might switch on the lights in our home and comment,
"What a dirty bedroom." Clear lights illumine the world around them.
I wonder if people are like lights, too. Some seem to be colored
lights and draw attention to themselves. Others, the clear lights,
seem to shine on people in their midst.
We may say of one, "Isn't she smart? She always astounds me with her
brilliance." And of another we might say, "I always feel better when
he is around. He seems to know me. And he believes in me."
It is as if one shines so brilliantly that the room is filled with a
colorful, dazzling glow. But the other shines on those nearby, clearly
illuminating their goodness and virtues.
If I am to be a light in this world, I think I'll lose the paint.
Clear lights are best.
__________
Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.
____________________________________________________
THINGS OF VALUE
You've heard the question asked, "If your home were on fire, what you
try to save?" Most people answer that they would rescue people and
pets and as many photographs and memories as possible.
The question we faced was similar. We were forced to consider,
"If we have to evacuate our home, what should we take with us?" Or,
put another way, which of our possessions could we live without?
Our area was just a few miles from largest wildfire in Colorado's
history. We were on "evacuation alert." If we got the call to
evacuate, we would have to grab whatever we could save and leave
immediately.
We packed suitcases with a few clothes and toiletries and set them by
the door. Though these things were not valuable, time was. We moved
the computers ... I made a living with my computer. We cleared out
books we sold from our home office. Those books represented our
livelihood. We packed financial records - who wants to hassle with the
government for years over missing documents?
Now, what else? We snatched family pictures from the walls and packed
scrapbooks in boxes - all sentimental objects that could not be
replaced.
Then we took a hard look at all that remained. There was a lamp that
belonged to my great grandmother. It was a connection to my family.
And there was the piano my wife Bev learned to play when she was a
little girl. Not of great value in itself, but another family
connection.
We would be leaving a hutch that belonged to her grandmother and
handmade quilts and gifts from dear friends and family. All
represented connections to people and memories we value, but if we
were to be evacuated immediately, we would have no way to move these
items.
I've never been much attached to things, but the thought of leaving
behind something passed down through our families or handmade for us
by dear friends saddened me deeply. It's about what they
represented -- family and love. Each had a story to tell, and some of
them spoke in the voices of our parents and grandparents and a few
friends as close to us as family.
The fire never reached our home. We were lucky. And though I felt
grateful that all was spared, I realized also just how fortunate I
had been in another way. I saw just how rich my life had been. Not in
things I owned, but in love I've known.
Someone wisely said, "There are people so poor that the only thing
they have is money." And now I knew. I was indeed rich. I was rich in
friends and family. Rich in memories. Rich in everything that really
matters.
I wonder if there is any other kind of wealth worth seeking.
__________
Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.
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CHOOSING HAPPINESS
A customer sat staring sul lenly into his drink. "Something wrong?"
asked the bar tender.
"Well, two months ago," the young man replied, "my grandfather died
and left me $85,000 in oil stock."
"That doesn't sound like something to get upset about," said the
bartender.
"But last month, my uncle passed away," the young man continued. "He
left me $150,000."
"So why are you sitting there so unhappy?"
"Well, this month so far, not a cent!"
Perhaps he had not read Horace's words about how to be happy:
Happy is the man and happy is he alone,
He who can call today his own.
He who is secure within can say,
'Tomorrow do thy worst,
for I have lived today.'
Today is all we have, really. Now is the best time to choose
happiness.
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Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.
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A ROAD MAP FOR THE JOURNEY
Gloria Pitzer quips, "In parts of the world, people still pray in the
streets. In this country they're called pedestrians."
The late theologian and educator Henri J. Nouwen said about prayer,
"As we are involved in unceasing thinking, so we are called to
unceasing prayer."
I've noticed that a lot of people believe in prayer, but they don't
always believe in praying. For them, prayer is like a spare tire. They
keep it in the trunk of their automobile and don't think about it most
of the time. But it's there if they need it. When they have a flat
tire they turn to the spare to get them through the emergency.
It's a bit like the soldier in a foxhole: bombs were bursting all
around and he prayed, "Lord, I haven't bothered you in twenty years.
Get me out of this alive and I promise not to bother you for another
twenty!" He figured he'd use his spare tire about once every couple of
decades or so.
I've noticed, too that prayer for some other people is more like a
road map. But it is not something tucked away in small compartment and
rarely used. Instead, it stays open and spread out on the car seat. It
is used constantly. These people understand how necessary a road map
is if they are to ever get where they want to go. For them, prayer
isn't just for emergency use, but it guides them through the
intricacies of life.
I know that people of many faiths practice various forms of prayer.
But I like thinking of it more as a road map than a spare tire. A road
map can make a difference every day.
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Steve Goodier's books & newsletter: http://LifeSupportSystem.com.
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Steve Goodier holds a B.A. in anthropology and sociology (New Mexico State University) and an M.Div. degree from Emory University, Atlanta, Georgia.
He is an ordained United Methodist minister and the author of numerous
books about personal development, motivation, inspiration, and making
needed life changes.
He is the founder and publisher of Your
Life Support System, an e-zine with 100,000 subscribers since 1999.
Through this daily e-mail newsletter, he sends out hope and
encouragement to a worldwide community of readers.
He writes a
syndicated newspaper column. Your Life Support System column can appear
FREE of charge in your local newspaper, company newsletter, church or
synagogue newsletter or a newsletter your support group or community
service group produces. Just contact Steve @ lifesupportsystem.com for
information.
Steve Goodier has been a professional speaker for
over 25 years and produced a daily inspirational radio program. He
teaches the "Living Right Side Up" method and trains leaders to
facilitate their own "Living Right Side Up" groups. He is sought out to
speak on a variety of topics. He can be a speaker or seminar leader for
your next meeting.
Steve Goodier created the "Living Right
Side Up" daily life management system. He is a personal development
coach. He has taught and counseled people through life changes and
spiritual development for two decades.
Together with his wife
(and best friend) Bev, a professional counselor and small group leader,
he has led numerous workshops on relational, spiritual and
inter-personal growth topics.
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